Taking the Self out of righteous

This may be the most difficult blog that I have written. I am going to be bluntly transparent and honest in sharing what God has been doing in my life. As the Christian walk is one of falling down, self discovery,highs, lows, happiness, sadness, daily repentance and giving God full access to myself in showing me the areas that I want him to change in me. As a sister in Christ once told me we are all masterpiece's in progress. This is a minute by minute, day by day, month by month, year by year process.

God is the author of my life and my stories and I know this topic is something he wants me to write about and share with people. The topic of discussion is how God showed me how my own Self righteousness and judgmental attitude was poisoning my witness as a Christian to the world.

I think everyone can admit that the biggest turn off to people is the judgmental, self righteous Christian. I am speaking of someone who speaks all truth with no grace and no compassion for the other person. Essentially not putting yourself in someone else's shoes or having compassion for the situation that they are in.

In my eyes, I thought myself to be pretty good. I was a good faithful wife. A good daughter and sister. I work hard and am a good mom. I was careful of the things I watched on tv and careful of the things I listened to on the radio or the things I would read. I was careful of the things that came out of my mouth. Here in lies the first problem. I thought that I was good. Our deeds are like filthy rags to God (Isaiah 64:6). Unfortunately that was the type of Christian I used to be. It would seem that I had forgotten some of Paul's most meaningful words as in Romans 3:10-12- as it is written:“None is righteous, no, not one;no one understands;no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;no one does good, not even one.”

The second problem was that I would look down on others whether it was fellow friends of the faith or whether it was friends, family, or co workers. I would judge them by what their choice of TV shows were, movies, how they spoke or what they believed and life choices they were making, etc. Sometimes I would just think it and other times I may verbalize it but when it came down to the truth,God showed me how wrong my thinking was.

Then came the biggest trial I have ever had to experience in my life. It was an extremely dark time for me. God would begin to show me my own sin of self righteousness. He showed me that I was not perfect and reminded me things I would judge others for I had been guilty of in the past or was guilty of. It was unfortunate that also people I was close with started judging me for decisions I was making. So now I can feel how people were feeling when I was being self righteous and judgmental of them as I was receiving the same treatment from people. It was hurtful and my thought was God is my judge not man. Refer to Romans 2:1-4- Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?

Through this horrific time in my life God gave me a new love for people in a way that I had never had before. My prayer life changed dramatically for people in that I saw people just as myself a person in need of a savior in addition to praying for the situations that they were struggling with. I did not see myself any better than them.I was now able to put myself in other people's situations and imagine the hardships they had experienced or were experiencing. I could share my own struggles and mistakes in hopes that people would learn from mine. But the difference is to leave the decision making to the person and leave my self righteousness at the door and be compassionate to the person.

Now that I look back I was very much like a Pharisee described in the Parable in Luke 18:9-14-He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

I would encourage anyone out there to take a good look at your own life before judging others. One of the most important teachers of my experience is that we must remain humble and put our pride aside. We must not lose sight that we are granted eternal life only by what Christ has done for all of us on the cross. Let no one think they can do anything to save themselves except believe. Romans 10:9-because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

I can honestly say that even with all I have been through I like myself more today than I did yesterday. For through it he changed my self righteous, prideful attitude and has made me a more loving person.